CONSUMERMAN and the Travelex Bureau de Change Service

CONSUMERMAN has not had a good rant for a while -- so it is wondrously convenient that a currency exchange service has incurred his ire so opportunely.

The hapful and witting recipient of CONSUMERMAN's righteous wrath this time out is Travelex, the concessionaire for many U.S.-based airport Bureaux de Change. It happened in this wise, Oh Best Beloved:

The Episode

Once upon a time, when the world was ever so slightly less old than it is now, CONSUMERMAN found himself in possession of a quantity of banknotes left over from a trip to Brasil (see his ego-partner's trip report on the subject). Preparing to board another airplane after having spent less than a day in the bosom of his consumer goods since having disembarked from the last, and finding himself in need of a bit of the ready, CONSUMERMAN calmly waited until arriving at the departure airport to convert his R$ (Brasileiro reais) to US$.

A moment's inspection revealed the service bureau, neatly tucked away in the customary wall niche. Seeing no queue and two employees behind the counter, CONSUMERMAN strode forward with confidence -- a confidence that was misplaced, Oh Best Beloved! For now did Fate present CONSUMERMAN with the bitter cup!

Of the two figures in Travelex livery behind the heavy, forbidding, presumably projectile-proof (and certainly sound-proof) limpid frozen colloid, one was seated and engaged in muttering and making arcane marks upon various scraps of paper before discarding them. The other figure, standing, laconically flipped a switch and in none-too-dulcet tones of almost ineffable disinterest informed CONSUMERMAN that they two were 'in the middle of a transaction' that would 'take just a minute.' At the end of the pronouncement the switch was flipped again.

Nothing daunted, CONSUMERMAN bravely leaned on the counter and watched with growing interest the antics of the seated figure. Scraps of paper were appearing and disappearing with great rapidity, and betimes it would do mysterious things with wads and bundles of currency from foreign lands -- sometimes unwrapping and rewrapping them, sometimes meditating upon them for seconds at a time, and sometimes removing scraps of paper from them (and occasionally replacing them with new scraps). Occasionally the standing figure would stoop, murmur, and make arcane scratches on other scraps of paper, but for the most part it remained essentially motionless and unmoved.

This astonishing behaviour continued with no sign of stopping; indeed, the seated figure was beginning to bear a marked resemblance to one of those kinetic sculptures inspired by Rube Goldberg. Finally, after permitting more than ten of those minutes to pass, CONSUMERMAN asked the standing figure, with gentle irony, how many more minutes it would like. CONSUMERMAN considered that unexpectedly devoting more than ten to this weird 'Transaction' fetish-play was probably a sufficiency.

The standing figure galvanised into action, and with gestures and scarcely-audible words indicated that the seated figure would soon be pleased to turn its attention and skills to performing on CONSUMERMAN's behalf, and CONSUMERMAN edged over to confront the latter through the colloid. The standing figure lapsed into motionlessness again, and departed not therefrom for the remainder of the encounter. After a moment more of inexplicable activity, the seated figure did, indeed, appear to turn its attention to our hero, who then slid his packet of R$ through the sculpted gap cunningly designed into the colloid for the purpose.

More meditation ensued. Much more, indeed, than had been lavished upon the various bundles during the holy Transaction observance. Finally the seated figure drew forth a bound notebook containing leaf after leaf of iconic representations of currency notes and began consulting it. (Apparently the 'Banco Central do Brasil' inscription on each of the ones CONSUMERMAN had supplied conveyed nothing. Ah, the mysteries of other trades!)

Finally, after nearly a minute's communion, the seated figure turned to a nearby computer screen and entreated it to reveal the exchange rate -- which it did with no apparent reluctance, but with the statement that CONSUMERMAN was selling 'cruzados' rather than 'reais'.

Finally the seated figure appeared to draw some conclusion from the information sources surrounding it, and told CONSUMERMAN (with some apparent trepidation) that his notes were worth approximately US$26. After some highly acerbic commentary, CONSUMERMAN allowed as how he would accept that figure. What actually passed back through the gap in the colloid was slightly more than US$21, since the seated figure applied a US$5 commission fee for the monumental effort it had undertaken. And that is the end of the story, Oh Best Beloved.

The Epigram

That is the end of the story, but the beginning of the Wrath of CONSUMERMAN, who felt (and feels!) seriously ripped off. Y'see, Brasiliero reais were trading at almost exactly 2:1 for US dollars, so a bare commissionless exchange would have returned approximately US$40 to CONSUMERMAN's pocket. However, the exchange rate Travelex was using was seriously ruinous, being 8:3 (about 37¢ on the dollar instead of 50¢). Adding to the profit they garnered from the rate was their US$5 'commission', so poor (literally!) CONSUMERMAN only got back about half what he really ought to have gotten.

'Fool me once, shame on me.' Indeed, it was even worse -- because that US$26 result included the US$5 commission, which the seated figure actually subtracted again. CONSUMERMAN failed to notice this -- d'oh!

Issues

So why is CONSUMERMAN so peeved at Travelex?

• With two employees and no queue, it took them more than ten minutes to get to their single customer. In an airport, where it is reasonable to assume that customers are under time constraints.
• The exchange-rate tables they use are clearly incredibly disadvantageous to the customer (or at least they were in this case).
• Not content with the excessive profit from the exchange, they nevertheless exact a transaction fee as well.
• Their computer database showed the wrong currency units; the cruzado was replaced by the cruzeiro, and then by the cruzeiro real -- before finally being replaced by the real in 1994! So who knows how trustworthy any of their information is?
• Finally, they ripped me off for a double commission fee, indicating either malice or incompetence on the part of the exchanger. You simply do not make mistakes like that when handling money is your raison d'être.
• And they did not even smile as they were screwing me.

Conclusion

So, Travelex, take note: You are now on CONSUMERMAN's fecal roster, and he intends to say so (and why) to anyone with ears to hear. Unfortunately the Bureau de Change function seems to usually be an airport- (or at least terminal-) wide concession, so avoiding Travelex in locations where they have the concession may take some doing. But it will be worth it to keep my hard-earned monies out of the usurious clutches of these cretins.

A Travelex Cashier Responds

In relation to your post made about the Travelex Foreign Exchange you visited, I am a cashier with Travelex and would like to draw your attention to the following:-

• While there is clearly no excuse for the service you recieved, there may have been a reasonable explanation for the delay you experienced. Often, even if more than one cashier is present in a unit, only one till is active and the cash for the other till is locked in a time delay safe. Therefore, it is quite feasable that the cashier who finally served you was unable to do so due to the nature of the problem they were experiencing and the other did not have a till on which to serve you, thus, making it physically impossible, although this does not excuse their manner and lack of explanation.
• The exchange rate you supposed you should be getting would have been the rate quoted in the national press. Foreign exchange operators use rates which place quoted rate roughly in the middle ground between their buy and sell rates. This is in fact how their money is made. The rates Travelex use are no more disadventageous to customers than you would find in a high street bank. In fact, Travelex uses the rates of the top four national high street banks to set their rates by.
• Travelex recieve a negligable amount from the transaction fee which concerned you so much. This fee is set by the airport operators and generally has nothing to do with Travelex. It is the airport operators who recieve this fee, unlike the high street banks and exchanges who make a profit on both the rates and any fee charged!
• One suspects that the reason for the cashier checking the MRI currency identification guide was that they were not instantly familiar with the notes and wished to check their validity and whether or not they were genuine notes or not. The computer system was recently updated and reports the correct currency 'unit'.
• As for the extra commission charge, this is impossible to do out of 'malice' and would possibly be considered defamitory. However, there may be a number of reasons why this occurred one of which is that it may have been a trainee cashier (which may also account for the delay). Whatever the reason, I am positive this would have been a genuine mistake.

Had you raised these issues at a convenient time for yourself with the management, I am sure that you would have recieved a satisfactory resolution to the matter and I am sorry that you felt the need to air your views on the internet before seeking resolve to the matter beforehand.

I would urge you to visit Travelex again and I can assure you that we are not all as sultry or unhelpful as the two unfortunates you encountered! :-)